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Jokes about turning 70

Nettet8. apr. 2016 · For thousands of years, people didn't know what it meant to be 70-years-old. Large, surly animals, rotted teeth, and the plague were all standing by to end life well before that magic number. If you are inclined to believe the Bible, a man named Methuselah lived 969 years. Meth, as he was affectionately called, was the grandfather … Nettet11. des. 2024 · Happy 70th birthday to my amazing aunt! Happy 70th birthday uncle. You prove that age is in the mind. Have the best time of your life today. It’s your birthday, …

What Are Some Funny 70th Birthday Jokes? - Reference.com

Nettet20. jul. 2024 · Birthday Burn. He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. — George Burns. Catch-22. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. — Billy Crystal. Don’t miss these family friendly jokes shared by our readers. 12 / 14. Nettet8. jan. 2024 · Read up on our old age jokes and “getting old” jokes to live forever. Getting old doesn’t have to be sad. Make fun of those grey hairs with these old people jokes … moda health vision providers https://jdgolf.net

Thoughts On Turning 70 -- Yikes! HuffPost Post 50

Nettet4. mar. 2024 · My Reaction to Turning 70. When a new male friend asked me what I was going to do now that I was 70, I replied, “Learn how to dance backwards wearing high heels like Ginger Rogers.” My final thoughts on turning 70: Dance as if nobody is watching, Love as if you’ve never been hurt, Live as if there’s no tomorrow. Nettet70th Birthday Funny Quotes NettetSixty is the worst age. "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and ... moda health vision plan

65 Funny Quotes About Getting Older and Quotes About Aging

Category:Seventy Quotes - BrainyQuote

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Jokes about turning 70

43 Jokes for Seniors: Laughing and Having Fun Makes You Younger

NettetAn Old Lady Checked Into A Motel on her 70th birthday. She was a bit lone and thought, “I’ll call one of those men you see advertised in the brochures for escorts and sensual massages.”. She looked through the phone book, found a full-page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony – a very handsome man with assorted physical skills ... Nettet6. nov. 2024 · If laughter keeps you young, then these cartoons may be the ticket to getting older gracefully. 1 / 14 NAF for Reader's Digest The Grim Retweeter The body may …

Jokes about turning 70

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Nettet18. sep. 2013 · When you turn 70, you can't consider yourself middle-aged any more. Let's face it, you're wicked old. Which doesn't sound great, but in ancient times the entry into cronehood, the third period of a woman's life -- after Maiden and Mother -- was feted with ceremonies and rituals, because the crones were revered as wise women who could … NettetThe Joys of Being Over 70. There are some unexpected joys about being on the other side of 70, for example... Kidnappers aren't very interested in you. In a hostage …

Nettet29. mar. 2024 · By Staff Writer Last Updated March 29, 2024. Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman’s age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. Another joke tells the story of a man that buys his wife perfume for her 70th birthday as … Nettet12. jul. 2024 · Best Old Age One-Liners for Birthday Cards Short and sweet one-liners to poke fun at your favorite old fart. 1. Birthdays aren’t as fun when you’re older, but …

Nettet16. nov. 2024 · You may be searching for the best turning 70 quotes to use one or more for a birthday slogan. One of the original quotes might be used for the theme of a surprise … NettetA man gives his wive a coffin for her 70th birthday, When she turns 71, she asks "why havent you got me a present?" And the man answers "but you havent used the one I …

Nettet12. jan. 2024 · As you reach 70, your mind outruns your body. I will never make the mistake of being 70 again. My age is 69.96 plus taxes, not 70! Smokey bear celebrated …

Nettet23. jun. 2024 · God said, “You must go to the field with the farmer all day long, suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years.”. The cow said, “That’s a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. inmailchimpNettet18. jun. 2024 · “Your 40s are good. Your 50s are great. Your 60s are fab. And 70 is f*@king awesome!” Helen Mirren “I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face … moda health wikipediaNettetYou know you are 70 when you have a hard time locating the keys in your pocket and finding your cell phone when it rings, but you can find the snooze button from four feet … moda heart fabricNettetHe opens the door and sees a hooker standing there in a sexy outfit. She says to the senior: "Hi there, I'm here to give you super sex!" The old man thinks for a moment... moda high-endhttp://www.birthdayquote.co/funny-birthday-wishes-70-year-old-man/ moda historic blendersNettet10. mar. 2024 · Happy 70th Birthday Quotes 1. Turning 70 means two things: you survived the 60s and you survived your 60s. 2. Happy 70th Birthday! 3. The older you … moda heartfeltNettetWhen you turn 70, you deserve to be respected. Too bad life isn't fair. When you hit your seventies, you start getting congratulated again for not having to wear a diaper. People … moda health weight watchers